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The Parent Perspective - December 2007 The Parent Perspective is a monthly feature where parents tell us how their families navigate today's media-saturated environment. This month’s Parent Perspective comes from Chicago, Illinois. Beth is the mother of two boys, Ryan (age 15) and Casey (age 14), and one girl, Maddy (age 10). If the TV was on, my children would freeze, mouths agape, eyes glued to the screen. I knew from the start that I would have to manage their screen time. Here’s how our family’s media rules have changed as the children have grown. 2 – 5 years old. The main rule was TV time is limited to 2 hours a day, except on rainy or sick days. On other days, we were so active outside that we barely had time for TV at all. It wasn’t difficult to make sure that their TV content was age-appropriate—they watched public television and movies, so they didn’t see any commercials, and I gave up my own TV during their waking hours. We wrote down all house rules during our monthly family meetings, and the kids helped make this list—they added: You must wear pants at the dinner table. It was all so easy to manage back then! 5 – 7 years old. When GameBoy came out, we made more rules:
Suddenly, I was accused of being the “mean mom.” My boys especially had a hunger for these games like I’d never seen with their action heroes, skateboards, or Legos. Casey did learn to read amazingly quickly on his GameBoy because he was determined to navigate Pokemon. This educational component and (I’m embarrassed to say) the fact that “everyone else had them” kept us buying games. 8 – 10 years old. Once homework began, the house rules changed. All three kids played sports, which saved us many media battles, but my husband and I wanted to send the message: "work first, play second." The rule became No screen time on weekdays; 2 hours maximum per weekend day. The boys turned from video games to sports- and mythology-themed computer games, so my husband and I took this opportunity to learn about computer protection software. We also kept the two computers in open areas on the first floor. Not wanting to give the kids the idea that ALL media was bad for them, we also started family movie night where all five of us would sit on the couch with our popcorn and blankets. It was challenging to find movies fit for everyone, but it was a wonderful bonding experience and a way to positively experience the fun of media. 11 – 12 years old. Media violence and sexual content that was not age-appropriate appeared everywhere we turned, and we needed more rules:
Nevertheless, extra screen time crept in since we agreed that watching sporting events and ESPN with Dad didn’t count toward their limits. But we did make sure to talk to them about what they saw as it happened—athletes arrested, alcohol consumption, and more—but the real talks happened at bedtime or in the car. 13 – 15 years old. The kids have added social media like cell phones, e-mail, and FaceBook. The media violence has increased a notch, so my husband and I play the games they have and read reviews for all movies before they see them. My husband and I recognize the fun in entertainment and try to share the joy of commercials, movies, YouTube clips, and other media that are humorous or meaningful. We don’t want to condemn their culture -- this is their time. We encourage them to invite friends to our house for an afternoon of: playing sports outside, ordering their own food, and then, participating in multi-player video games. They learn to coordinate real life, socialize with real people, and enjoy media, in a way that they wouldn't by playing a video game alone in the basement. Looking back, I would maintain the same media limits but with more tenacity and less guilt. Looking forward, I will need more facts to share with my teenage children, who deserve to understand and be part of our media decisions. This work can be exhausting, so I feel extremely thankful to have found that the Center on Media and Child Health exists – a place where I can receive guidance on how to make healthy media decisions. We are proud to say that our “work first, play second” rule continues to reap rewards. Family movie night continues, and, of course, we’ve kept the kids’ rule: You must wear pants at the dinner table.
If you'd like to share your own experiences or suggestions in a Parent Perspective, email us at cmch@childrens.harvard.edu |
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