The Parent Perspective - October 2007

The Parent Perspective is a monthly feature where parents tell us how their families navigate today's media-saturated environment.

This month's Parent Perspective comes from Harriet in Memphis, Tennessee. Harriet is the mother of Matthew (age 9) as well as a Montessori preschool teacher:

A lot of things have changed in the (many) years since I was a little girl. For example, the snazzy television we own today is in color and gets about 200 different channels. As a result, we have access to many wonderful educational and interesting programs. But with regard to homework and TV, I have found that the more things change the more things stay the same!

Growing up in Cambridge in the 70’s, my sister and I were allowed one hour of television per day and the television did not go on until our homework was done. I didn’t like my mother’s rule much and I was pretty sure that I was not "wasting my time" watching The Partridge Family, The Brady Bunch, or Daktari. But I knew the rule and after supper, I did my homework first. Our son, Matthew, is in third grade and we use the same rule with him.

In addition to limiting his screen time we also limit Matthew’s access. No padlocks or handcuffs needed: we only have one television and we only have one computer. Our TV is in the family room which is connected to the kitchen. The computer is at my desk which is also in the kitchen. This way, I am either actively watching what Matthew is watching (when I am sitting right next to him), or passively (when I am making supper or working at the counter). I can see the computer screen or the TV screen when I am cooking supper. We only have one other rule about our TV: It is off unless somebody is watching it.

As a Montessori teacher, I am privileged to spend time with many different children, both in the classroom and on the playground. It is typical and developmentally appropriate for children to ‘re-script’ their experiences. Yet, for many of them, their pretend-time is limited to what they have seen on TV. This inevitably creates two problems: In the short term, somebody always winds up crying because of a well placed Powers Rangers™ karate chop (which, in real-life, actually hurts). In the long-term, these children are not getting the opportunity to develop their own imaginations.

I do remember one three-year-old boy (who watched very little TV) acting out marvelous and elaborate scenes on our school playground. Usually these scenes involved a plumber, a toilet, and a ‘panicked’ mother (whom I usually got to play). It was great fun! He was learning to master his world by recreating it, and he was really paying attention to what the plumber was doing.

The influence of violent media is very disturbing to me as a teacher and as a mother. For this reason, we have seriously limited violent media of all kinds - even the cartoon variety - in our family. Yet, like any nine-year-old boy, Matthew loves Bionicles and has a basket full of them. But, we have not watched any of the Bionicle movies, nor have we played any Bionicle games. To Matthew, Bionicles are just fantastic robot-warriors and he loves spending time reconfiguring them with his best friend, Gabriel. His imagination and fine motor skills are hard at work. This is a compromise which works well for both of us.

As a teacher, I have come to understand that each family has a different perspective on TV, homework, and imagination. I am keenly aware that what works for my family might not work for yours. For us, the balance between homework and screen time is about the same as it was for me when I was little. For Matthew, I would say it is about the same too: he doesn’t necessarily like our family rules, but he follows them just the same.

We're currently looking for other parents to share their experiences or suggestions in a Parent Perspective! Email us at cmch@childrens.harvard.edu